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Post by dwarnold on Nov 2, 2006 13:09:13 GMT -5
Hey SLB, would hot fantasy work WITH the Poet Laureate or is it only self fulfillment that works?
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Post by slb2 on Nov 2, 2006 18:00:59 GMT -5
Why thank you, lirio. You've no idea how many Grammy's I've accepted while steeped in the steamy passion of reverie.
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Post by slb2 on Nov 2, 2006 18:02:18 GMT -5
dwarnold, I'm not sure I understand your question. I'd be happy to provide an answer if you'd be happy to elaborate.
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Post by carolion on Nov 3, 2006 19:35:20 GMT -5
ooooh, now we all have bated breath.
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Post by slb2 on Jan 18, 2007 1:29:45 GMT -5
More sighs. Diane had a boyfriend (after the end of her marriage to Lars), Stephan, and she had gotten rid of him (Stephan is also bipolar), but now she's with him.
She's lost her apartment. I heard that over Christmas, she spent a couple nights in her brother's garage. I don't know where she is now, but she's homeless. And she had a cell phone last week, but not any more. I don't know how to contact her.
Her cousin and I want to find her and force her to either accept treatment or aggitate her enough so that we can call the police and they will see that she's a danger to herself.
I can hardly believe this. She only has one thing left to lose....
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Post by slb2 on Jan 18, 2007 1:30:58 GMT -5
And when the temperature is below zero, that last thing's not too hard to lose, either.
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Post by Gracie on Jan 18, 2007 9:52:29 GMT -5
More sighs. Diane had a boyfriend (after the end of her marriage to Lars), Stephan, and she had gotten rid of him (Stephan is also bipolar), but now she's with him. She's lost her apartment. I heard that over Christmas, she spent a couple nights in her brother's garage. I don't know where she is now, but she's homeless. And she had a cell phone last week, but not any more. I don't know how to contact her. Her cousin and I want to find her and force her to either accept treatment or aggitate her enough so that we can call the police and they will see that she's a danger to herself. I can hardly believe this. She only has one thing left to lose.... Ohhhh, slb! I am so, so sorry to hear this. I've been praying for Diane since you first began this thread. God, I wish I could help, wish I knew what to say, wish there were something we could DO. I'm sure you're checking all the shelters? Did you make a flyer of some sort with her picture on it, to help anyone who might have seen her? More prayers, I promise, and please tell us if there's ANY way we can help. She is in such a scary place and my heart breaks for her....and for you, such a good woman who loves her through it all.
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Post by hartlikeawheel on Jan 18, 2007 15:19:42 GMT -5
Sometimes we sensitives are just called upon to be witnesses. It hurts. And it can be our job on this earth.
I've talked before about losing my five best friends in the eighties. Think I'll take some time to talk more about them today.
Dorie, thirty-something. She ran into a train in her foxy black pickup truck one night on her way to work. Friends said she crossed those railroad tracks every night and should have known the train was coming. It came at a diagonal and may not have been immediately obvious. It was mentioned that she took some thrill in trying to beat the train. There were thoughts of suicide but I doubt that. Her life was finally thriving after many years of struggle. She burned alive in her truck. I always hope that she had been knocked unconscious.
Her job at the state hospital was caring for the seriously afflicted. She called them "my kids." And she was good to my kids as well. She wrestled with Matt and took Sarah horseback riding.
She had an issue with her anger having been seriously abused as a child. She was late to work and I can imagine her with her women's music cranked up high and probably swearing because she wasn't on time. Perhaps distracted.
I learned in only one afternoon not to ride on the back of her cycle. That girl was Helen Wheels while she lived.
Evie, 53. She was one of the first female members of AA in Mankato and one of the first women to start a halfway house for women alcoholics (in her basement!) in MN.
I worked for her in her two halfway houses cooking back in the early eighties. She was grumpy as heck. A woman you didn't want to mess with. Just before I'd met her she had had both legs removed from the knees down due to diabetes.
She said to me once, "Don't you ever lie to me and we will be friends. If you lie to me once, it's all over."
A college teacher whose name strangely escapes me right now, 36. A health teacher who died of cancer. We had strong boundaries and never spent any social time together but she was very influentual in my life.
Irene, forty-something. We had been coworkers in the halfway houses and later at the state hospital. She always told me that she wouldn't live past fifty and I would laugh. I didn't realize that she was telling me that that was her plan.
Sometimes I would go into my office in the morning and find a note from her inviting me to lunch.
One night she drove out to the lake, parked the car and put a shotgun in her mouth.
I felt just horrible for not recognizing the signs but she didn't want anyone to and maybe there would have been nothing I could have done.
It was a consideration on her part to not make any loved ones have to find her.
There were a group of us whom met every Sunday in each others' homes to talk about whatever. Now some of us are dead as young women and the others have moved away to pursue their careers. Kate and I are the only ones who go back to the early eighties and mostly I take care of her as she is quite ill. I expect to lose her in the next few years.
Seattle Sue took me to task in email one time for having so many ill friends and I felt that she implied that that indicated a basic flaw in my makeup. I did finally respond.
So many of us were involved in the people-helping business and that can take a toll on people. Maybe flawed people do seek out that kind of work to heal themselves. But I don't see it as a bad thing. It's just stepping deeper into the morass than some people are willing to do. It takes a lot of courage.
I took strength from those women and still miss them. There will never be friends like I had then, I think. And it takes years to build those kinds of relationships.
For about ten years I felt as though I was an angel of death and that anyone who wanted to be friends with me may be risking their lives. How self-important!
It has taken me years to reframe that into thoughts that are more healthy for me. I now think that I was called to be there for people who were on their way to transition.
It doesn't matter how one wants to look at it in the world perspective. We just have to try to do the best for ourselves as we can and I want to keep trying to create a strong self-image.
(This is supposed to be up there with Evie but somehow it moved ) She called me a day or two before she died. She had a mentally ill and dangerous patient whom had threatened her life and then ran away from the halfway house and she was frightened. A surprise. But she wasn't very mobile.
I was cooking Asian food for my family and dished some up and left a note to the gang.
Evie and I ate together and later when she felt better I left. As I was going out the door something stopped me and I returned to her and hugged her for the first time and told her I loved her. Then she had an aneurism and died.
That taught me a big lesson about speaking our truths before it is too late.
Judy, 42. A psychiatric nurse who had lost a breast to cancer which moved to her liver. The softest and strongest woman I've ever met. Once a patient put his hands around her neck and squeezed. I asked her what she did and she answered that she had just said to him to please take his hands off of her. And he did. Doctor's wife and he hated her love for all the crazies in her life. Her house was always a total mess because she put people first.
I don't know how I managed to mix this up but maybe it's put the way it's supposed to be.
I am a strong believer in people before things and promoting women to hold themselves as strong human beings and have been lucky to have people in my life who support that.
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Post by hartlikeawheel on Jan 18, 2007 21:58:28 GMT -5
I forgot to say that the last thing Judy did, with all the people in her life who loved her, was to write a couple of short notes to my kids who had drawn her Easter pictures. She wasn't able to finish the note to Sarah but I have them still and some day they may realize how important those notes are.
We had her wake before she died so twenty or so of us could tell her how much she had meant to us. It was a really touching experience.
I spoke at her funeral and then had a group of friends over for lunch after it. When they left I found a small booklet left behind by someone about how a caterpillar turns into a butterfly written for children to help them understand about death. Bless good friends.
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Post by gailkate on Jan 20, 2007 10:18:00 GMT -5
slb's Diane may have a circle of helping friends like the women who moved in and out of anj's life. I am humbled and staggered by the ingenuity and invention of people living on the fringes. I who start shivering in my parka when temps hit the teens - how is it possible people survive? Perhaps Diane knows many folks with couches. We can pray for someone to see her today who is moved to act. It takes only one. I think the flyers can't hurt, though it's a very big city, because that one person may recognize Diane as struggling. And Diane may pull out of her welter of confusion enough to see her own face and know she is loved.
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Post by hartlikeawheel on Jan 20, 2007 12:03:19 GMT -5
"All the lonely people - where do they all come from? All the lonely people - where do they all belong?"
Diane is resiliant. She may be going from pillar to post and yet have found another person to take care of her. Ojala' for those of you who have to watch her distress and feel so helpless to assist.
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Post by slb2 on Jan 21, 2007 3:32:19 GMT -5
Briefly, I called Diane's mother and left a message and her brother, left message. Diane called me last night and I invited her over for Sunday afternoon. She plans to show up with her boyfriend.
Diane's cousin, who is also my friend, and I will be attempting an intervention. Both of our spouses will assist if needed. I'll update when I can.
Thanks for your concern. I thought the shelter checks and posters were premature. I knew she was somewhere, I just didn't know where. I don't know how her mom got a hold of her...
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Post by hartlikeawheel on Jan 21, 2007 17:13:42 GMT -5
One only can believe, Suze, that things are progressing in Diane's life the way that they are supposed to. That's a difficult task to accomplish.
A touch of humor now since it never hurts.
I'm just rereading as I do to find my errors and correct them and my post #127 gave me a few chuckles at the use of common speaking language I often adopt on the threads.
I hugged and kissed Evie and then she died of an aneurism. Good grief. No wonder I felt like the angel of death.
And I truly don't think Judy's missing cancerous breast moved to her liver.
They are both laughing with me!
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Post by scotbrit on Jan 22, 2007 14:48:20 GMT -5
I was hoping to have had an update on whether Diane turned up or not.
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Post by Gracie on Feb 5, 2007 21:53:34 GMT -5
Just checking to see if there was any good news about/for Diane.
Storming heaven on her behalf, slb2, and yours as well. I promise not to give up.
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Post by slb2 on Feb 6, 2007 1:26:12 GMT -5
I saw Brit's question a couple weeks ago, but just had nothing to say, so didn't. But as some of you have stuck with me and my ache, I need to keep you informed. Thanks to both of you for asking.
Diane did show up at my gathering. She brought along her bi-polar, but often medicated and acknowledged boyfriend, Stephan. The thing with Diane, she always looks good. I don't know how she does it because she doesn't have a place to call home or even temporary digs. But she's freshly showered and ironed and coiffured. And on most topics, she stays dignified and reasonable. But she still is nuts about immigrants. Negatively so.
She called me this past weekend and stopped over for a few hours. Completely spontaneous. Eventually I offered her a spot to sleep, but she had other arrangements. Apparently she and Stephan had a to-do, Stephan's skipping meds, I'd guess and drinking little, plus Diane is acting promiscuous, which is a very bad thing. As a Catholic, she doesn't believe in birth control beyond NFP. That may help her avoid pregnancy, but not STDs. I'm going to have to approach that topic next time I see her. Maybe give her some condoms "just for the fun of it." I mean, how else do I help her keep safe when she's on a bend?
What is frustrating for me is that I always feel ready to take on the elephant when I see it in the driveway, but when it's sitting right down next to me, I waffle. Hey, joew, pray that I stand boldly next time I see her so that I can address these issues with her.
I did tell her that her suggestion to repeal the 19th amendment of women's suffrage was pretty radical and she'd be hard pressed to find many in her camp. Diane tries conscientiously not to be radical. She's not quite over the edge this year. Yet.
I didn't take her to task for suggesting that I quit my writing and go into sales.
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Post by Gracie on Feb 6, 2007 8:29:55 GMT -5
(((((((((((((((((slb)))))))))))))))))))))
Diane is lucky--sick as she is--to have someone who loves her as much as you do. You WILL find the strength to say whatever you need to say that will help her. That elephant is big, and scary, but YOU are stronger than any elephant.
God bless you both. Please tell me, any time, if there's ever anything I can do to help...even if it's only to listen. I will always listen.
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Post by joew on Feb 9, 2007 13:10:45 GMT -5
… Hey, joew, pray that I stand boldly next time I see her so that I can address these issues with her. … Will do.
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Post by slb2 on Feb 11, 2007 1:46:13 GMT -5
… Hey, joew, pray that I stand boldly next time I see her so that I can address these issues with her. … Will do. thanks
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