It's Time to Procrastinate!

[booklady]

I think even non-sports fans enjoy a little championship procrastination now and then! (I should be making up a science test.)

Let's hear some of your best techniques for avoiding that which you MUST do. (I just indulged in some advanced laundry sorting.)

In the past I've heard some great ones -- cleaning the wound-up hairs out of the vacuum beater brush, for example. (I have mid-term progress reports due out Tuesday, so I need some good ideas for putting off doing them.)

Maybe if we get some good tips, we can (eventually) give out some awards for most creative ways to procrastinate.

And don't tell me you'll give me your ideas later.

[doctork]

I don't call it procrastination - it's "just in time" for efficiency. Aaaannnnddd, if you wait long enough, quite a few items on your do-list will become unnecessary

I work better close to a deadline.

That assignment wasn't really necessary after all.

I wanted to find a new job anyway.

I will work much better if I clean up the kitchen/hang up the clothes/alphabetize my CD's first.

I will complete the work log and send in the invoices when I need the money to pay tuition.

The cleaning lady is coming this week, so there is no need to clean the bathroom right now.

I can always run out to the airport for the 5:30 Fedex pick up if I miss the 4:15 in town.

The main post office will postmark up until midnight.

I will send the rest later.

[joew]

The puzzles in the newspapers are very important. For me that especially means sudoku and cryptoquote.

Time to do …; but first, another swallow of coffee.

I'd better check again to see if the mail has arrived.

If I call right now, they may be still asleep, at work, away for the weekend, doing errands, fixing/eating lunch/dinner, retired for the night.

I'll have more time for it after lunch.

[slb2]

Playing freecell calms my nerves, making it easier to write coherently.

Playing spider solitaire clears my head so that the correct thoughts can emerge.

Answering e-mail helps me to rid my inbox of junk so that the really important stuff will appear.

Fantasizing about <ahem> lets me enter into a dream-like state of consciousness which is where I need to be to write this next poem.

[jspnrvr]

We want to do this right; let's measure it again.

I'd hate to get in the middle of this job and have to quit.

I better run up to the ACE and make sure I have the right one.

I better run up to the ACE and make sure I have a new one.

I better run up to the ACE and make sure I have enough of them.

Dang, it's looking like rain.

Dang, it's starting to sprinkle.

Dang, where did the time get to, it's too late to start today.

[booklady]

So lovely to start the day with a laugh!

[Jane]

I only have a couple more chapters to read, and if I don't read them, I won't be able to concentrate.

I can't write a coherent sentence until the house is both clean and tidy. Once I get that done, that 1000 word article will only take me about 20 minutes!

I'm resting my eyes.

[sisterbeer]

Pretty tricky, Booklady. I almost missed it.

If I'm still dreaming, I still need sleep.

I can get more done Sunday, when the office is deserted.

This coffee's not going to drink itself.

[edsfam]

I was going to post my excuuse for procrast ....

I was going to write a short story about pocasterna ....

I was goint to come up wth some good ways to pocaster ...

I cant type good rite now, my fingrs are to num. aybe later.

_E_

[liriodendron]

I will tackle that task more efficiently if I just have quick snack first.

It's almost lunchtime, perhaps I'd better eat something healthy.

Nothing in the fridge looks good, I'll make a pot of soup.

Well, after all the time I spent cooking, I'll never have time to finish that task today.

There's always tomorrow!

[booklady]

I MUST answer these posts when I get time.

[Trusty]

I just don't have the time to fill out my "To Do" list.

[Tillie]

Hold yur nose and pull the chain on that one.

[Gracie]

It should be done.

It will be done.

It shall be done.

Tomorrow.

[Trusty]

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I realize the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day, the driveway is flooded, the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

[booklady]

Lead on, oh exalted one. Lead on.

[sisterbeer]

That's great, Trusty. GK couldn't have told it better.

[Trusty]

sisterbeer said:

That's great, Trusty. GK couldn't have told it better.

Thanks, but I must admit it was not original.

Hey. Here's one that is:

Wonder what a procrastinated day in the life of GK would be?
"Today I went to close the Chatterbox when I noticed .................................."
(2,000 diversions later...)
"So I finally am closing the CB, and I feel like such a dopey old crony in waiting this long because I got so sidetracked. Now, how can I word the explanation so it will be nice......?"

[doctork]

Say Trusty - while you are looking for your car keys, will you please see if you can find mine too? You know, the ones with the "clicker" which I lost two weeks ago. I am getting tired of walking everywhere, though I suppose it is good for me.

If you can't find them, perhaps someone will remind me of who is the goddess of lost objects? I can't find that thread either.

I am so far behind on school assignments, due to procrastination, that I have had to unplug the phone so people won't call me about everything that is overdue. Don't tell my husband about the messages he is missing, please.

Not to worry - I do keep up with the doctoring stuff. Those people have my cellphone number, which I answer.

[scotbrit]

DoctorK.

I told you yesterday by private message where your left your car keys with the clicker.

And it wasn't with Brutus and SLB.

[slb2]

I happen to be the Superior or Lost Things. I do not find the lost items, but I tend to them while they are lost.

And how is it that Brutskie and I get linked together by other people? (not that I'm complaining. I remember a great time the two of us had under the tarp in his garage. But that's dopey history, I probably shouldn't have mentioned it. )

[booklady]

Sometimes when I lose things I actually remember to pray. And then I almost always find them. Go figure! It's weird, but I feel like it always works. There must be times I'm forgetting about though. I don't know. Give it a try, doctork.

[doctork]

SLB, please take care of the keys while I am looking for them. I missed church last Sunday, but I will go this Sunday, and I suppose I could even try a prayer in the in the interim. But they are probably under the tarp in Brutus' garage, despite Brit's claim to the contrary. I must have lost the PM Brit.

I have faith in prayer. I always thought it was odd during my medical training that doctors would tell someone who is terminally ill: "Well there is nothing left but to pray." What!! A person is seriously ill, and they call in G-d as the second string.

[mike]

Per Carly Simon, kind of...

We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway
And I wonder if I'm really with you now
Or just chasing after some finer day.

Procrastination, Procrastination
Is making me late
Is keeping me waiting

And I tell you how easy it is to be with you
And how right your arms feel around me.
Bit I rehearsed those words just late last night
When I was thinking about how right tonight might be.

Procrastination, Procrastination
Is making me late
Is keeping me waiting

And tomorrow we might not be together
I'm no prophet, I don't know natures way
So I'll try to see into your eyes right now
And stay right here, 'cause these are the good old days.

[joew]

Brit won't mind if you lost the PM, because the PM is not in brit's party.

[slb2]

doctork said:

SLB, please take care of the keys while I am looking for them. I missed church last Sunday, but I will go this Sunday, and I suppose I could even try a prayer in the in the interim. But they are probably under the tarp in Brutus' garage, despite Brit's claim to the contrary. I must have lost the PM Brit.

I have faith in prayer. I always thought it was odd during my medical training that doctors would tell someone who is terminally ill: "Well there is nothing left but to pray." What!! A person is seriously ill, and they call in G-d as the second string.

Well, if they are under Brut's tarp, I didn't feel them there.

As to a doctor saying, all we can do now is pray, I'd interpret that more as I've done all I can, now we'll have to call in the Really Big Guns.

[carolion]

Trusty, you're a master, what can we say? Why not a new reality TV show, "PROCRASTINATOR"??
Some of us would watch it and weep with giggles.

[scotbrit]

Whaaat?

We would watch and weep in real time?

Unthinkable.

Best watch the repeat methinks to keep to the spirit of this thread.

[booklady]

carolion said:

Trusty, you're a master, what can we say? Why not a new reality TV show, "PROCRASTINATOR"??
Some of us would watch it and weep with giggles.

And some of us could star on the show.

[joew]

Not a bad idea, booklady. I'll think about it.

Later.