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Post by doctork on Feb 19, 2012 8:00:58 GMT -5
I have a lot of "sayings" in my life, and when I left one of my jobs, my staff got together a book of what they called "Kristinisms." I'm sure I have used a lot of them here, and I'm sure you all have "sayings" too.
Here's a place to log them. I found a new one today that I think is pretty funny, borrowed from a FTer:
//The world would be a nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would be even nicer if some people choked on it.//
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Post by Jane on Feb 19, 2012 9:51:22 GMT -5
When my daughters complained about their sad, sad lives vs the lives of everyone else (as teens), I constantly quoted from Fitzgerald, "Life for everyone is a struggle, sometimes magnificient from a distance but always difficult and surprisingly simple and a little sad."
My mother used to say, "Well begun is half done." When I'm writing, I always feel if I can get the first paragraph done, the rest is easy.
She also always told me, "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" when I was dithering between a past and/or possibly future boyfriend while dating another.
Of course, she also said, "He won't buy the cow if he's getting the milk for free," but he did.
The only advice I ever gave my daughters (as adults) was, Don't move a lot, and Hire someone else to do your housework. (We moved a lot, and I didn't feel it was a very good way to raise children. And, when I was working, I alwasy hired a housecleaner. Cheap at twice the cost..)
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Post by joew on Feb 19, 2012 21:43:33 GMT -5
My brother majored in philosophy in college, so of course I had to use "That's my philosophy" with respect to things that aren't philosophy at all, just sayings or opinions. Examples: "Early to bed and early to rise, that's my philosophy;" or "It's too cold to walk, that's my philosophy."
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Post by joew on Feb 19, 2012 21:46:46 GMT -5
I also enjoy saying, "He can't have gotten far in this weather." It doesn't matter what the weather is, it's just my response to a question about someone who has left.
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Post by doctork on Feb 19, 2012 22:02:28 GMT -5
My mother said that same thing about the cows and the milk, but both she and my grandmother were the opposite of your mom on boyfriends Jane.
They both were big on "Men are like streetcars - there is always another one coming down the line."
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Post by Jane on Feb 20, 2012 8:00:26 GMT -5
My husband's dad was.....interesting. He was a cocky little street fighter of a guy, dropped out of school in the 5th grade, a bully and usually three sheets to the wind. Despite his lack of education, he had a (loud) opinion about everything. So he'd give said opinion, brooking no dissension, and then say, "That's kindly my version of it." And his "version" was the only one that counted!
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Post by doctork on Feb 20, 2012 10:28:29 GMT -5
Since I just mentioned it in "I see by the news" here:
"As the islands of knowledge expands so do the shorelines of ignorance." - attributed to John Donne.
Jane, you husband's dad's saying has a very common variant today: "That's my story and I'm sticking to it!"
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Post by BoatBabe on Feb 28, 2012 10:00:42 GMT -5
We have lots of sayings in our family, too. All of the good ones come from My Dahhlink's Dad, quoted regularly by his son.
The answer to someone trying to do something always is, "That's what a steer does . . . tries."
Which I guess means, if you don't have any balls you won't ever get anything done.
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Post by BoatBabe on Feb 29, 2012 9:51:53 GMT -5
HA! I used one yesterday:
Busier than a cat covering shit on a tin roof.
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Post by BoatBabe on Feb 29, 2012 23:09:15 GMT -5
One of my sayings is, "I'll wait right here."
A client leaves the bank and says, "I'll see you later this week," and I say, "I'll wait right here."
This produces giggles and requested promises to NOT wait right there.
A co-worker leaves for break and says, "I'll be back in 15 minutes." I say, "I'll wait right here."
The usual comment is, " No moving, now. I'll be watching," and smiles.
I'll wait right here.
When I left my restaurant/bar manager's position on Whidbey Island due to moving our boat permanently to The Main Land, the owner printed out a notice that said, "Dione will no longer Wait Right Here."
;D
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Post by BoatBabe on Mar 7, 2012 22:55:54 GMT -5
Our very cool, upbeat, independent window washer came in yesterday and announced, "You are allowed to complain. It proves you have standards." Then he announced, "But you can only complain once to each set of ears. It proves you can also be entertaining."
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Post by BoatBabe on Mar 17, 2012 11:28:53 GMT -5
"We waited for you, like one pig waits for the other." I said that yesterday, and No One at work knew what that meant.
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Post by joew on Mar 17, 2012 17:27:18 GMT -5
"We waited for you, like one pig waits for the other." I said that yesterday, and No One at work knew what that meant. Me too. And I don't mean I said it.
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Post by jspnrvr on Mar 17, 2012 18:18:45 GMT -5
I must say, that's a new one. So do pigs wait or not? I'm not getting the implication/compliment/ jibe.
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Post by Jane on Mar 17, 2012 18:28:11 GMT -5
Similarly, when my mom would see an overweight family trotting down the street, she'd say, "You can tell they eat at the same trough." Of course, the more demented she got, the louder she said it, so taking her out in public was a treat. She hated fat people.
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Post by BoatBabe on Mar 17, 2012 19:04:07 GMT -5
"We waited for you, like one pig waits for the other." I said that yesterday, and No One at work knew what that meant. Me too. And I don't mean I said it. We started a new employee yesterday, and it was his birthday. We waited, and waited before giving him his card and present, hoping for everyone to be available, and finally late afternoon, we gave them to him even though Jean was on her break. When Jean came back and saw the opened present I said to her, "We waited for you, like one pig waits for the other," meaning, we didn't wait for her at all. Are you serious? That is not a common saying for you folks?
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Post by joew on Mar 17, 2012 21:35:26 GMT -5
In all seriousness, that's a new one on me.
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Post by BoatBabe on Mar 26, 2012 22:07:32 GMT -5
Today I walked into the lunch room to get a glass of ice water and Patty was having lunch. I took one sniff and said, "Are you back on that plastic food diet?" "Yes, I am," she replied, "how did you know?" "Because it smells like hammered dog sh*t." "Really," she replied, "What does that mean?" "It means it smells like I wouldn't eat it if I were starving to death." Her lunch was supposed to be beef stew. She later recounted the story saying, "She knew I was eating my diet food just by the smell. I've never heard that particular saying before, but apparently it smells pretty nasty." No one else in the office had heard that saying before either, but they all agreed that her plastic diet food smells awful. I guess it just depends on where you were raised.
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Post by jspnrvr on Mar 27, 2012 6:24:47 GMT -5
Bad enough to knock a dog off a gut wagon?
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Post by BoatBabe on Mar 27, 2012 13:54:53 GMT -5
Bad enough to knock a dog off a gut wagon? WHAT?!?! ;D
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Post by joew on Mar 30, 2012 1:01:02 GMT -5
Bad enough to knock a dog off a gut wagon? WHAT?!?! ;D Well, innards are usually pretty good. So something would have to be pretty bad to send a dog away. This reminds me of the Texan who was in my unit at the IRS factory back in the early 70's. He had the phrase "as hungry as a yaller dog" to describe how he felt as we went for our supper break (swing shift). One evening he said, "I'm as hungry as two yaller dogs."
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Post by doctork on Mar 30, 2012 5:03:37 GMT -5
Speaking of innards - "bad enough to make a maggot puke."
And speaking of dogs - "If you want a friend in Washington, DC, get a dog. In fact get two dogs, because odds are, before your term is over at least one dog will turn on you."
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Post by BoatBabe on Mar 31, 2012 0:54:24 GMT -5
Good one!
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Post by doctork on Mar 31, 2012 15:19:50 GMT -5
Good one! Richard Carmona, former Surgeon General during the administration of Bush 43, told that one.
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Post by BoatBabe on Apr 9, 2012 21:49:15 GMT -5
As my co-worker reminded me recently, "God's last name is not Dammit."
;D
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Post by doctork on Apr 10, 2012 7:20:13 GMT -5
Toad strangler = heavy rain storm
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Post by BoatBabe on Apr 10, 2012 8:22:18 GMT -5
Toad strangler = heavy rain storm Ahhh, yes . . . approaching right now from Smuggler's Cove.
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Post by jspnrvr on Apr 10, 2012 11:33:57 GMT -5
Toad strangler = heavy rain storm Gosling drowner.
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Post by BoatBabe on Apr 10, 2012 21:23:20 GMT -5
Toad strangler = heavy rain storm Gosling drowner. Honestly, I've never used either of those, but you can bet I will.
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Post by BoatBabe on Apr 24, 2012 23:01:52 GMT -5
I heard a new one today. We have a couple of old farts who make a habit of coming into the branch on free food and free party days, stuffing their mouths, stealing everything they can stuff in their pockets (tea bags, hot chocolate mix, hot cider mix, cookies, cake, sandwiches, they just wipe the place out,) then they get pissed off about some trumped up charge ("You don't figure my interest right!" is their usual one,) then they go to another branch and speak Very Badly about the last branch they were in and do the same thing all over again. They are cranky, pissy, gossiping old men, and none of us have been able to crack them, except for a few moments when they are stealing stuff and they pretend nice. My co-worker said about them today, "You can't complain with a full mouth."
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