Are you uncomfortable?

[doctork]

Another one from "The Book of Questions":

Do you feel ill at ease going alone to either dinner or a movie? What about going on vacation by yourself?

Looking at this now, I can see it could be related to your plans for a summer vacation, as asked earlier.

[doctork]

I often dine alone during my various travels, and it doesn't other me. I gotta eat, right? Maybe in a fancy, reservations-only type place I'd think twice, perhaps as much because the lone diner is usually seated in the back by the kitchen door, as because I might be antsy eating alone.

Movies - I'm not a big movie-goer, but I don't have any problem going by myself. What if Howard and I want to see different movies? Perfect solution - he goes to Cineplex 1 and I go to Cineplex 2.

Vacations - well it seems usually I go by myself. Frankly, it's hard to get others to agree with me that Afghanistan is the perfect place for their next vacation! Though on those aid trips, I usually join up with others on the mission once we get to the airport.

I've done many vacations where I'm assigned to share a room - saves money and many hotels don't have enough single rooms, especially overseas. Mostly it's a great way to meet new and interesting people, and only rarely have I been assigned a roommate I didn't care for. In fact, vacationing alone, one meets a lot more people. When I'm with spouse or friends, we don't tend to meet and talk to so many other people. By yourself, meeting new people is easy and fun.

I noticed on my high school reunion trip to New Orleans, many classmates brought their spouse/partner, but many did not. I think reunions can be pretty boring for the one who is not an alum.

[joew]

I must be a loner. I'm not at all ill at ease going to a movie alone, at least back when I went to movies more than once every five years. But It's never bothered me.

In restaurants — and I go to restaurants maybe twice a month on average, mostly alone — I'm only slightly uncomfortable, feeling that I am somehow more noticeable for being the only person at my table. But since I started bringing a book to read, I'm less self-conscious.

Solo is the best way to vacation, and it has never been the least ill-at-ease-making.

[brutus]

Being a singleton (one of Hart's words), I am, naturally a loner. Some of my most enjoyable times have been on an outing alone. Though my lovely bride is good company and I enjoy sharing with her, I can't shake the feeling that I'm "anchored" and can't freely roam. I am a lot like the good Doc in that regard. Going to a movie, I would, if I truly wanted to see the picture. Going out to dinner........not a problem, though I might go to a place where a lone diner wouldn't be out of place. I like to take solo drives, just to see what there is to see. My wife isn't wired like that.
~B~

[booklady]

I'm like Joe, and have always been comfortable doing things on my own. I got my first apartment (by myself) at 18 or 19, went on a camping trip by myself from Santa Barbara to Montana by myself at 22, drove cross-country by myself (moving to Massachusetts by myself) at 29, famously went to Hibbing by myself (much older!), vacationed in Tennessee and Mississippi by myself (older still), and moved and now live in Mississippi (even older). Lots of meals, movies, and, as my kids grew up, attending their games, school open houses, and parent conferences by myself. Spouse just wasn't a "goer."

Unfortunately for me, I am more uncomfortable with people than I am alone, even traveling, dining out, or going to movies.

[Jane]

I love to go to movies by myself (so that my husband doesn't keep asking, "Who's that guy? Why is she doing that?"), and I also like eating alone since that lets me read without being rude to any dining companions. I've never traveled alone, so I don't think I'd like it, but I might. I've flown alone and didn't like that even a little bit. But that's the same way I feel when flying with a companion.

[BoatBabe]

I'm also one of those loner types. I like doing things alone, because I also feel anchored if I have to look out for someone else's wants or needs. I like being tuned into the other folks and situations around me. I am usually not a Bury My Head In A Book type, although sometimes I am.

Lone people send out different messages. Plugged-in ear bud people are dancing to their own internal music and aren't interested in external stimuli. Fortunately, I haven't yet run over one of these people who are completely oblivious to their surroundings. Walking While Texting people fall into the same catagory for me: Don't bother me.

Engrossed readers are not inviting conversation.

I find it is very rare to see lone people who have not cocooned themselves in some fashion.

I frequently dine out alone, and I don't sit in the dining room. The dining room is too formal, and folks expect a certain amount of privacy surrounding their table, whether they are alone, or with people. I always sit at the counter, or in the bar. It is a more friendly environment, and folks expect to be talking and social.

I love solo long road trips. I meet the most interesting people, when I feel like it. The rest of the time, I really do get to be alone.

[doctork]

Obviously we are a group of loners! Never mind the oxymoron.

I had a second "lone traveler" post that got lost in cyberspace I guess.

I am relieved that I am in good company in sometimes feeling anchored by a traveling companion, especially overseas if I speak the language and my husband/kid doesn't. Though once I took my two daughters to Paris when they were 10 and 12. They got into a fight on some Paris street and I told them if they didn't stop fighting RIGHT NOW, I was going to leave them all by themselves where they didn't speak French. They quit fighting immediately!

There must be something to this "opposites attract" theory, as there seems to be a preponderance of spouses who aren't goers.

[Jane]

This last NYC trip, I spent some time wandering alone and even took the subway on my own and found it most enjoyable so maybe I'll try some solo travel at some point.

When we were in Savannah once at a B and B, a woman there had just retired and was spending a month or two motoring around on her own. It seemed sad to me.

Two of my best friends are single (one divorced; one never married). One goes to casinos by herself all the time,which just sounds boring to me, and the other goes camping alone, which sounds unsafe. She spent six weeks a couple of summers ago wandering around the west with a tent. There's nothing about that I would like.

[booklady]

I wouldn't go camping again by myself, and was a little nervous about it in 1976. I probably would not have chosen all the lone traveling if I'd had someone who'd go with me. I got sick of sitting in a living room watching someone sleep in the chair while the TV was on, so I said, the heck with this. If I have to go by myself to get there, so be it.

[doctork]

Maybe you need the "E" for Extrovert in the Myers Briggs Personality Inventory to really like traveling alone. But I find I meet lots more people that way, si I am rarely alone if I feel like having company.

I do not camp anyway, alone or in good company. I don't go where they don't have flush toilets and mattresses unless it's a humanitarian aid trip.

[liriodendron]

Go on a trip by myself? Gosh, that sounds so cool! I could go wherever I wanted to go. I could sleep as late as I wanted to sleep, or, in the alternative, get up really early and go for a walk without feeling like I was abandoning my companions. I could eat where I wanted, when I wanted. I could make plans or I could just be spontaneous. No squabbling, no moaning, no complaining, no compromising (except in regards to my budget).

I dunno - this seems like a no-brainer to me. Who wouldn't want to do this? (Of course, I'm probably sounding a bit selfish in my glee.)

[doctork]

Lirio! There is a light bulb going on over your head. Yes, it is a no-brainer.

No wonder we all like the idea of solo vacations.