Post by escalus on Oct 23, 2007 6:15:48 GMT -5
Two of 'em are my own, the other two are from the pen of the always hilarious Bob Rivers. Enjoy.
GHOSTS IN WHITE LINEN ( sung to Nights in White Satin )
Ghosts in White Linen
Never touching the ground
Kids ringing door bells
Making their rounds
Ran out of snickers
I don't have any more
A pack of Bart Simpsons
Threw eggs at my door
If I catch you
I'm gonna get you
Oh you bastards
I'm gonna catch you
And ring your neck
O Skeletons! (to the tune of O Tannenbaum!)
O skeletons! O skeletons!
You rattle in the closet!
O skeletons! O skeletons!
You rattle in the closet.
O let them know, the day is here,
The truth is out, they can appear
O skeletons! O skeletons!
Rattle through your woodpile.
DRACULA IS COMIN' TO TOWN
( sung to Santa Claus is Comin' to Town )
You better not turn,
You better not toss,
You beter wear garlic and carry a cross,
Dracula is comin' to town
He's there in the mist,
About twilight time,
He's nursing a thirst for jugular wine,
Dracula is makin' his rounds.
He sees you when you're sleeping,
And wafts into your room,
And leaves you with some teeth marks
To explain that afternoon
So, you better not turn,
You better not toss,
you beter wear garlic and carry a cross,
Dracula is comin' to town
Trick Or Treat Trash
(sung to Monster Mash by Bobby "Boris" Pickett)
I was sitting home alone on Halloween
Waiting for the little ones
With bags on their sleeves
Who love to eat the junk
That make their teeth a big mess
But you see I’m a dentist
I couldn’t care less
I’ll give them tons of trash
Malted milk balls and candy corn
Chocolate bars and licorice
I’ll give them trick-or-treat trash
I’ll feed them dextrose glucose
Sweets of all design
I’ll make their wisdom teeth stupid
Their eye-teeth blind
I’ll let them stuff their faces
Till they’ve had their fill
Cuz tomorrow
They’ll be in my chair and under my drill
I give them tons of trash
Gumdrops and lollipops
Candy canes and gooey chewy things
I feed them trick-or-treat trash
A year will go by
Of fillings and drillings
Root canals bridge work
Appointments and billings
Until next Halloween
When their teeth are all bright
Then I’ll put my dentist’s costume on
And haunt them all night
I’ll give them trash
Lots of trash
How about some giant suck balls
Jaw breakers and gummi bears
I’ll give them trick-or-treat trash
Next please
Into the chair now
Open wide
Say Ahh
Aghhh
Now spit
GHOSTS IN WHITE LINEN ( sung to Nights in White Satin )
Ghosts in White Linen
Never touching the ground
Kids ringing door bells
Making their rounds
Ran out of snickers
I don't have any more
A pack of Bart Simpsons
Threw eggs at my door
If I catch you
I'm gonna get you
Oh you bastards
I'm gonna catch you
And ring your neck
O Skeletons! (to the tune of O Tannenbaum!)
O skeletons! O skeletons!
You rattle in the closet!
O skeletons! O skeletons!
You rattle in the closet.
O let them know, the day is here,
The truth is out, they can appear
O skeletons! O skeletons!
Rattle through your woodpile.
DRACULA IS COMIN' TO TOWN
( sung to Santa Claus is Comin' to Town )
You better not turn,
You better not toss,
You beter wear garlic and carry a cross,
Dracula is comin' to town
He's there in the mist,
About twilight time,
He's nursing a thirst for jugular wine,
Dracula is makin' his rounds.
He sees you when you're sleeping,
And wafts into your room,
And leaves you with some teeth marks
To explain that afternoon
So, you better not turn,
You better not toss,
you beter wear garlic and carry a cross,
Dracula is comin' to town
Trick Or Treat Trash
(sung to Monster Mash by Bobby "Boris" Pickett)
I was sitting home alone on Halloween
Waiting for the little ones
With bags on their sleeves
Who love to eat the junk
That make their teeth a big mess
But you see I’m a dentist
I couldn’t care less
I’ll give them tons of trash
Malted milk balls and candy corn
Chocolate bars and licorice
I’ll give them trick-or-treat trash
I’ll feed them dextrose glucose
Sweets of all design
I’ll make their wisdom teeth stupid
Their eye-teeth blind
I’ll let them stuff their faces
Till they’ve had their fill
Cuz tomorrow
They’ll be in my chair and under my drill
I give them tons of trash
Gumdrops and lollipops
Candy canes and gooey chewy things
I feed them trick-or-treat trash
A year will go by
Of fillings and drillings
Root canals bridge work
Appointments and billings
Until next Halloween
When their teeth are all bright
Then I’ll put my dentist’s costume on
And haunt them all night
I’ll give them trash
Lots of trash
How about some giant suck balls
Jaw breakers and gummi bears
I’ll give them trick-or-treat trash
Next please
Into the chair now
Open wide
Say Ahh
Aghhh
Now spit