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Post by Trusty on May 15, 2007 22:38:22 GMT -5
I can determine property lines without having to sniff where my neighbor has marked with his pee.
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Post by booklady on May 16, 2007 5:11:08 GMT -5
I have the power of language and can create unique sentences (however inelegant) and hear and read the unique sentences of others.
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Post by slb2 on May 16, 2007 7:59:40 GMT -5
I eat my meat after it quits moving.
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Post by doctork on May 16, 2007 8:36:43 GMT -5
Oh I don't know, I always kind of wished I was a cat. I frequently dream that I am a cat that can fly - now that would make catching birds much easier, wouldn't it?
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Post by liriodendron on May 16, 2007 9:20:44 GMT -5
Opposable thumbs. 'Nuff said.
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Post by hartlikeawheel on May 16, 2007 15:23:36 GMT -5
Toilet paper?
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Post by Trusty on May 16, 2007 20:53:24 GMT -5
The ability to decide whether to fold or flower toilet paper. ;D Gotcha! |
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Post by booklady on May 16, 2007 20:56:04 GMT -5
Seems like "I'm glad I'm a Human Being" should rise above bathroom comments, but maybe we all never stop being 5th graders underneath it all.  |
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Post by hartlikeawheel on May 16, 2007 22:28:08 GMT -5
Sorry to have been so offensive to your sensibilities, BL. But you do understand what happens if you are a dawg or a cat and need TP. Seems something to be grateful for to me.
I have read most all of the great English masters and understand them fairly well, play Bach, Beethoven and Brahms. I can teach a cat to sit, roll over and other tricks, I can call fish and teach them to let me pet them. I can sew and paint, ride a motorcycle, comfort a child in pain, speak a little sign language, and enough Spanish to make a more accomplished speaker giggle.
Tap dance!
I can understand a great deal of medical information and psychological definitions and know a variety of interventions for these things. I can also run a psych unit for a day with a little help from my friends.
I can teach a child how to throw pottery, play a mean game of bridge, billiards and scrabble. Jump on a pogo stick, still, I think. Do Norwegian Hardanger embroidery.
I can teach eleventh- and twelfth-graders English lit and wing it as a grad student at whatever they sent me to teach.
I can lecture without notes for forty-five minutes and rarely lose my audience's attention.
Sing in a church choir, teach Sunday School.
I can get a master's degree with straight A's.
I can commune with the spirits (angels) and know how to be a stand-up woman.
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Now that I've embarrassed myself with all this bragging (and I'm not sure which of these things I am still able to do) I just want to add that I can also laugh at the absurdity of our existence and most of my laurels have been sat on for so long that I probably don't need any TP any more.
So what I'd really like to learn next is how to "flower" TP.
Hang in and take a deep breath and get ready for some summer vacation, BL. Sounds like you're ready for one.
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Post by slb2 on May 17, 2007 0:00:33 GMT -5
flower TP: sorta bunch it up and make it look like a flower, rather than folded or crushed.
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Post by booklady on May 17, 2007 5:34:33 GMT -5
hart......I was kidding. Didn't ya see the wink? And read the "we"? |
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Post by hartlikeawheel on May 17, 2007 15:12:01 GMT -5
Oops, BL. My bad. And a little defensive, yeah?
Yes. It's a great thing to be in touch with one's childsoul and also a real hart saver.
Bet a good fifth grade teacher is very much in tune with the giggles of children and how to work that lightness into a learning experience.
And there's hardly anything funnier than TP and underwear!
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Post by booklady on May 17, 2007 18:15:39 GMT -5
Well, hart, my fifth graders just happen to be studying the digestive system in health. They giggle about bathroom and body topics anyway, but you should see them when they have to read aloud about the large intestine, "elimination," (as the book calls it) and constipation! It's a scream!!!
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Post by hartlikeawheel on May 17, 2007 20:36:41 GMT -5
Wow. This opens up a whole new topic about times when we were working and had to turn our faces to the wall appearing deep in thought and hope the shaking shoulders didn't show.
There have been times when I've nearly bit my tongue bloody to keep from laffin' my buns off.
Think this subject of gratitude for our humanity continues to be a worthy and humorous one. Still temptation calls. . .
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Post by joew on May 19, 2007 0:34:03 GMT -5
Well, hart, my fifth graders just happen to be studying the digestive system in health. They giggle about bathroom and body topics anyway, but you should see them when they have to read aloud about the large intestine, "elimination," (as the book calls it) and constipation! It's a scream!!! How did they react to Evacuation Day, celebrated as a legal holiday in Suffolk County? |
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Post by booklady on May 19, 2007 6:00:39 GMT -5
I'm so happy they didn't know about that holiday, Joe. I'll never forget the little boy who had to cover his face with his hands the day we began reading about "Plant Reproduction." |
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