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Jokes
Feb 8, 2010 21:05:20 GMT -5
Post by hartlikeawheel on Feb 8, 2010 21:05:20 GMT -5
How to save the airlinesDump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss? The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women. Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and "special services." Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset. Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself? Sincerely, Bill Clinton Hah! Here's another win-win that came in my mail today: Instead of the bothersome scans at airports have a lead lined closet to step into which will simply detonate any explosive devices. Problem solved.
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Jokes
Feb 24, 2010 14:20:40 GMT -5
Post by Brit on Feb 24, 2010 14:20:40 GMT -5
This is not a joke per se, but I thought you might like the content.
I recently came across a list of blunders made on some UK quiz shows, and I will spare you some of the most pathetic but here are few. The contestants had to think quickly and give an immediate answer.
Question-master: Where is the Taj Mahal Contestant: Next door to the laundramat..
Question-master: Can you name something that is read? Contestant: My cardigan.
Question-master: What was Hitler's first name? Contestant: Heil.
Question-master: Beginning with the letter 'K', what was the word used to describe a suicide pilot? Contestant: Kama Sutra.
Question-master: What was Ghandi's first name? Contestant: Goosey Goosey.
Question-master: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'? Contestant: Homosexuals. Question-master: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.
Question-master: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope? Contestant: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
Question-master: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963? Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.
Question-master: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing what? Contestant: Basketball.
Question-master: Who wrote Lord Of The Rings? Contestant: Enid Blyton.
Question-master: Name something associated with pigs. Contestant: The police.
Question-master: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.? Contestant: Bill Shakespeare.
Question-master: What is the capital of Italy? Contestant: France.
Question-master: Who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel? Contestant: Leonardo di Caprio.
Question-master: Who was the Prime Minister before Tony Blair? Contestant: George Bush.
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Feb 24, 2010 21:03:31 GMT -5
Post by gailkate on Feb 24, 2010 21:03:31 GMT -5
I like di Caprio and the Sistine Chapel. One Italian is pretty much like the next, eh?
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Mar 1, 2010 10:08:05 GMT -5
Post by BoatBabe on Mar 1, 2010 10:08:05 GMT -5
Those are great, Brit. I'm always surprised at the kinds of answers Jay Leno gets when he does those interviews out on the street. "Name one of the Marx brothers." "Karl."
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Mar 3, 2010 9:31:54 GMT -5
Post by BoatBabe on Mar 3, 2010 9:31:54 GMT -5
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
She looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger and that his dad is Mick Jagger.
"It's okay," he says, "I know the bank manager."
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
(Don't blame me! I'm just the messenger . . .)
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
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Mar 5, 2010 12:10:20 GMT -5
Post by gailkate on Mar 5, 2010 12:10:20 GMT -5
OMG! I just saw this - love it! Can't believe I didn't see it coming.
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Mar 9, 2010 14:25:46 GMT -5
Post by hartlikeawheel on Mar 9, 2010 14:25:46 GMT -5
A bank joke from Babe! Who'da thunk it?
Stop me if I've told you this true-life joke before:
In her twenties Sarah was cheffing in Minneapolis. Being the eclectic person she is, her bestest friends were multiculti - an American Indian and an adopted Korean girl. The Sarah herself has a most un-Norwegianlike hairdo. It's a long tangle of dishwater blond dreadlocks.
The three rainbow girls were out on the town and, looking for something a little different, stopped into a bar in a rough and tumble area of town.
So, an AmerIndian, a Korean American, and a little White girl with dreadlocks walk (unknowingly) into a skinhead bar. They are nearly all the way to their seats when they begin to notice hostile stares and White nationalist tattoos. Oopsie. What to do?
The White girl thinks quickly, steps up to the bar and says to the bartender, "We just came in to ask for some matches." And they make their exit.
When Sarah told me this story I was struck with both amusement and goosebumps. Oh, my wayward, inquisitive kid. But still I laughed and told her it sounded like the beginning of a joke.
So for a while I was dropping by various web sites and asking others what the punch line should be.
Here is the best answer:
The bartender looks them over and says, "Ladies, there aren't any matches for you in this place."
There is a sidenote to this story. The first time Katie, one of the best-read people I've ever met, came to our house she was talking about her Italian ancestry and it struck me as peculiar. Didn't fit.
It turned out over the years, as she investigated her family background she found out that she was a Dakotah Indian whose family base was in South Dakota. Opened up a whole new life for her after she began to heal from the shock and sense of betrayal.
The funny part was how she told us it had solved the mystery for her of why, when she was walking in Uptown Minneapolis, that Indians would frequently approach her and begin to speak in their native tongues!
Haven't see Katie for quite a while now but still get an occasional call from her. She's a skilled bartender and used that talent to accomplish her dream. Spent several years working in Key West, then got her scuba certification. Presently she is working inspecting equipment on oil rigs and when she's done with that plans to move someplace tropical and teach scuba. Such a girl!
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Mar 31, 2010 0:01:36 GMT -5
Post by hartlikeawheel on Mar 31, 2010 0:01:36 GMT -5
This in the mail today from a pal with an irreverent sense of humor:
I went to the doctor today for my yearly physical.
The nurse started with certain basics.
"How much do you weigh?" she asked. "135." I said.
The nurse put me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.
The nurse asked, "Your height?" "Five foot four." I said. The nurse checked and saw that I only measure five foot two.
She then took my blood pressure and told me that it was very high.
"Of course it's high!" I screamed, "When I came in here I was tall and slender. Now I'm short and fat!"
She put me on Prozac.
What a b*ch.
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Apr 1, 2010 20:53:34 GMT -5
Post by BoatBabe on Apr 1, 2010 20:53:34 GMT -5
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there's a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He's been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies . . .
"You just happened to catch my eye."
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Apr 3, 2010 9:23:25 GMT -5
Post by gailkate on Apr 3, 2010 9:23:25 GMT -5
This is where we need one of those giant horns or buzzers for awful jokes ;D -you should send it in to GK's joke show.
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Apr 3, 2010 11:48:51 GMT -5
Post by BoatBabe on Apr 3, 2010 11:48:51 GMT -5
Groaner! I knew it was . . .
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Apr 3, 2010 12:30:17 GMT -5
Post by hartlikeawheel on Apr 3, 2010 12:30:17 GMT -5
Uffdah.
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Jokes
Apr 22, 2010 22:56:05 GMT -5
Post by hartlikeawheel on Apr 22, 2010 22:56:05 GMT -5
Had trouble with my computer today. Couldn't figure it out. So I called next door and asked the nine-year-old kid to come over and fix it for me.
He sat down, gave a looksee, and did a little fooling around.
"There, all fixed, ma'am."
"Great!" I said, "What was wrong?"
"Nothing serious. Just one of those ID 10 T mistakes."
"Oh. Okay. Thanks." I answered, not wanting to look stoopid.
Later in the afternoon the light bulb came on.
Dang! I used to kinda like the little thit.
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Apr 23, 2010 8:23:35 GMT -5
Post by BoatBabe on Apr 23, 2010 8:23:35 GMT -5
ID 10 T!
I love it. I'm stealing it.
;D
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Jokes
Jun 29, 2010 9:36:44 GMT -5
Post by gailkate on Jun 29, 2010 9:36:44 GMT -5
Are blonde jokes politically incorrect? GK doesn't think so, and some of these are a treat.
Blonde Inventions
The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses Solar powered flashlights Submarine screen doors A book on how to read
Inflatable dart boards A dictionary index
Powdered water Pedal powered wheel chairs
Mesh raincoats Water proof tea bags
Zero proof alcohol Reusable ice cubes Skinless bananas Do it yourself roadmap
Helicopter ejector seat
See-through porta-johns
Ice Fishing There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish in an ice fishing contest. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win -- they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde scout came running back.
"A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!"
K-9 Unit Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K_9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K_9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, blinked in dismay at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
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Jun 29, 2010 16:05:23 GMT -5
Post by jspnrvr on Jun 29, 2010 16:05:23 GMT -5
I like the mesh raincoats; it keeps the flashers from getting all sweaty and irritated under there.
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Jokes
Jun 29, 2010 16:55:54 GMT -5
Post by sailor on Jun 29, 2010 16:55:54 GMT -5
Helicopter ejector seat
This one just killed me! I'm still laughing.
Mike
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Jul 20, 2010 8:45:30 GMT -5
Post by BoatBabe on Jul 20, 2010 8:45:30 GMT -5
I had to read these again. What a hoot!
I'm going to try to use the term blind policeman in conversation today.
;D
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Sept 1, 2010 10:12:37 GMT -5
Post by gailkate on Sept 1, 2010 10:12:37 GMT -5
Financial Planning
Dan was a single guy, living at home with his father and working in the family business.
Thinking about his inevitable inheritance when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "But in a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million."
Impressed, the woman asked for his business card. Three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
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Sept 3, 2010 10:18:36 GMT -5
Post by TheDude on Sept 3, 2010 10:18:36 GMT -5
A guy with a huge orange head goes in to see a doctor.
The doctor says, "How did you get such a huge orange head?"
The guy says, "Well, one day I was walking down the beach when I tripped over an old lantern. A genie came out and said, 'I'll grant you three wishes, whatever you desire . . . what is your first wish?'"
I said, "I'd like all the money I could ever spend."
The genie went Poof!, and there it was, all the money I could ever spend.
Then he said, "What is your second wish?"
I said, "I'd like a beautiful woman to love me, someone I could enjoy this money with."
The genie went Poof!, and there she was, a gorgeous girl who immediately loved me.
Then the genie said, "And what is your third wish?"
And I think this is where I went wrong . . .
I said, "I'd like a huge orange head . . .'"
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Jokes
Sept 9, 2010 20:28:37 GMT -5
Post by BoatBabe on Sept 9, 2010 20:28:37 GMT -5
;D ;D ;D
{Thumbs Up! that we don't have}
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Oct 6, 2010 22:50:58 GMT -5
Post by gailkate on Oct 6, 2010 22:50:58 GMT -5
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest asked, What made ye come?"
Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father. Awhile back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn has a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ye didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"
Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."
With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ye decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell?"
Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, after ye talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."
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Oct 15, 2010 10:40:45 GMT -5
Post by gailkate on Oct 15, 2010 10:40:45 GMT -5
Here's a first Halloween ghost story to get us ready for the ghoulish season.
Minnesota Ghost........................
This happened about a month ago just outside of Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's real.
This out-of-state traveler was on the side of the road, hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his face.
Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and appearing ghost like in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped. Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and closed the door; only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of an engine to be heard over the rain.
Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and began begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he would drown!
But just before the curve, a shadowy figure appeared at the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again! Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve.
Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran and ran, into town, into Willmar. Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, then told everybody about his supernatural experience.
A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when they realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not just some drunk). About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar and one says to the other..............................................
'Look Ole, ders dat idiot that rode in our car when we wuz pushin it in the rain.'
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Oct 28, 2010 17:33:06 GMT -5
Post by gailkate on Oct 28, 2010 17:33:06 GMT -5
With apologies to whomever...
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Oct 28, 2010 17:49:12 GMT -5
Post by jspnrvr on Oct 28, 2010 17:49:12 GMT -5
That would be only natural blonds, right? I mean the holiday season is coming up, I was thinking about some highlights.....
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Jokes
Nov 22, 2010 8:00:44 GMT -5
Post by gailkate on Nov 22, 2010 8:00:44 GMT -5
Thanksgiving is Just the Warm-Up Tips for eating your way through the holidays.
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think.
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. Remember, you still have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
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Nov 25, 2010 15:48:40 GMT -5
Post by rogesgallery on Nov 25, 2010 15:48:40 GMT -5
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Dec 4, 2010 10:47:18 GMT -5
Post by gailkate on Dec 4, 2010 10:47:18 GMT -5
We've also seen things like this but it's the most all-inclusive I've come across.
Company Memo
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: October 1, 2009 RE: Gala Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family, Patty Company Memo
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: October 2, 2009 RE: Gala Holiday Party In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now? Happy Holidays to you and your family, Patty Company Memo
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: October 3, 2009 RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since several employees complained that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy. REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. Company Memo
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director To: All Employees DATE: October 4, 2009 RE: Generic Holiday Party What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs.. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms.. Sorry. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first. There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!? Patty Company Memo
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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All F*%^ing Employees DATE: October 5, 2009 RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW! The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, The B*tch from H*ll!!! Company Memo
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FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director DATE: October 6, 2009 RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. Happy Holidays! Joan
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Dec 17, 2010 14:47:56 GMT -5
Post by gailkate on Dec 17, 2010 14:47:56 GMT -5
Some of these could be GK one-liners:
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 42 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,
You might live in Minnesota
If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation,
You might live in Minnesota
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy",
You might live in Minnesota
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,
You might live in Minnesota
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,
You might live in Minnesota
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You might live in Minnesota
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
You might live in Minnesota
If you know how to say...Wayzata. ..Mahtomedi. .Cloquet. Edina ..and Shakopee,
You might live in Minnesota
If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,
You might live in Minnesota
If you measure distance in hours,
You might live in Minnesota
If you often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,
You might live in Minnesota
If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching,
You might live in Minnesota
If you install security lights on your house and garage and then leave both unlocked,
You might live in Minnesota
If you think of the major food groups as beer, walleye, and Venison,
You might live in Minnesota
If you carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them,
You might live in Minnesota
If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time,
You might live in Minnesota
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
You might live in Minnesota
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,
You might live in Minnesota
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and of course, road construction,
You might live in Minnesota
If your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next to your blue spruce,
You might live in Minnesota
If "Down South" to you means Iowa,
You might live in Minnesota
If you know "a brat" is something you eat,
You might live in Minnesota
If you find -10 degrees "a little chilly",
You definitely live in Minnesota
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Dec 20, 2010 0:04:37 GMT -5
Post by BoatBabe on Dec 20, 2010 0:04:37 GMT -5
Those are great, gk!
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