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Post by liriodendron on Sept 29, 2006 20:50:52 GMT -5
O.K. I don't intend to go to that extreme. However, it's time to bite the bullet and clear out some clutter.
Give me your best tips for how to eliminate the excess and organize the remainder with the least amount of agony and tears. Just don't tell me to visit that dang FlyLady website. Been there, done that. Drove me nuts.
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Post by slb2 on Sept 29, 2006 22:49:06 GMT -5
Firstly, lirio, who's clutter is it? Around here, it's usually the kids or my clutter. Ace is a cleaning-maniac. And before I hear about Oh, how wonderful to have a spouse who cleans, skip it.  A clean and organized house is NOT my priority. It doesn't float my boat one bit. But, if it's lirio's schtick, then by all means, let's have at it! Put stuff in a box(es) that you think you might not use/need. If you haven't touched them in twelve months, you don't need them, so throw 'em into a Goodwill heap. Clothes? Same thing. Almost. I tend to keep my clothes when they are too small, just in case.... As far as knicky-knacky stuff, if it pleases you each time you look at it, keep it. If you couldn't care less, get rid of it. Also, build shelves in your basement, under your stairs, put in storage all over the place. This helps with being organized because you're labeling everything as if you're planning on sudden on-set Alzheimer's, plus it gets it out of the way. And remember the three Rs. Reduce, reuse, recycle. was this any help? or did I just come off as a bossy-butt? btw, my too-small clothes? I'm wearing 'em again. I just hit the 50-pounds-lost mark on the scale. 25 to go! I hope to meet that goal by next summer. |
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Post by carolion on Sept 29, 2006 23:50:52 GMT -5
I met a woman who got herself to a certain weight in a few months' time by putting up postits all over the house which read, "I now weigh 125 pounds."
It was amazing to think about.
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Post by liriodendron on Sept 30, 2006 11:36:01 GMT -5
slb,
First of all, a big congratulations on the weight loss. Good for you, that is impressive! Are you going to share your secrets for success with us? Inquiring minds want to know!
As to who owns the clutter, I'd say it's a family affair, though some of us are oblivious to our own contributions, iykwim. Personally, I agree with you about priorities. However, I can also see the merits of being able to open a kitchen cabinet and not have the Tupperware come raining down upon you. I also think that if I could just get a handle on all the crap that the day to day maintenance might take less time and I could focus more on all those other priorities.
I'd have to say that my two biggest obstacles are probably sentimentality and frugality. I get way too attached to things (I can't possibly get rid of that linen tablecloth despite it being such a pain to iron that I never use it- it was a wedding gift, and gosh, it's practically brand new! I know the photo is a little fuzzy, but I was best friends with this girl when I was four years old!) Depression-era parents have left their mark, as well. (I can wear that old, stained and t-shirt when I scrub the shower - never mind that I already have half a dozen just for that purpose! What if we suddenly had no income and we simply had to eat that little can of potted meat that came in the gift basket at Christmastime!)
So, no, you did not come off as a bossy-butt. The time has come. I just want it to be as painless as possible.
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Post by slb2 on Sept 30, 2006 16:01:29 GMT -5
Thanks for the congrats, lirio. I'm working on an article for a magazine about "how I got this way" so if I ever get it published, I'll send the link.  Zen thinking dictates that we treat/think about others as if they're already gone. Hmmm. I know I am not saying that correctly. I'm not Buddhist, so I'm only speaking from what I've read, not learned. But it helps one to stay in the present. If I spend all my time making sure that the beautiful crystal hurricane lamp is dust-free and safe, then I'm not enjoying it as fully as if I let go of those concerns and simply let my heart be happy whenever I looked at or used it. It's tricky to do, tricky to explain. But I know what I mean. And I try to live that way. Very little in my house (full of treasures, to be sure) would bring me to tears if I lost them. Remember that you own the tablecloth, not vice versa. |
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Post by liriodendron on Oct 1, 2006 13:21:07 GMT -5
Going to attempt to keep the tablecloth from owning me, slb, which ought to be fairly easy at the moment, as I am not planning any fancy dinners that will require its use.
Also going to work on reducing the contents of the bathroom linen closet. Seems as good a place as any to begin and it is far less likely that there is anything sentimental lurking in its nooks and crannies.
Wish me luck!
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Post by Trusty on Oct 1, 2006 16:09:27 GMT -5
When we moved into our present home (1999), we packed a bunch of stuff in boxes that we so neatly labeled "Garage Sale".
They are still in the basement - neatly stacked, though.
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Post by slb2 on Oct 1, 2006 23:27:30 GMT -5
Lessee if I can write this out without sounding judgemental.
My neighbor is getting remarried after a divorce. She and her hubby-to-be just bought a new house to accomodate all of their children. six of 'em, not all at-home, aged 12 - 25.
So I picked up my daughter from their new house last night, that they'd moved into that day. Got the tour. Knocked my socks off. Her former home, which is just like mine, she bought around 15 years ago for under 100,000. Her new home is quite likely a million dollar home. Six or seven bedrooms, didn't count the bathrooms, guest house, fireplaces, koi ponds, hot tub, 1/2 acre land, lake down the street, endless.
But as I was walking around it, I thought, how could she keep her own mind, not to mention her children's minds, on the Will of G-d? All those fancy trappings, all the time she will spend decorating, re-decorating, fussing, et al.
Well, I couldn't do it. I just know that if I lived in that house, I would not be able to even come close to following G-d's will for me. And just as bad, I would allow myself to be distracted so that I would not be writing, which for me is G-d's gift to me. And that would not only be sinful, but depressing.
I guess maybe G-d does have plans for my neighbor that I don't know about. I must keep my mind on Romans 8:28, one of my favorite verses and trust that will happen for my neighbor.
Unless it's too late and she's already strayed....
Okay, hit me with how judgemental I'm being.
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Post by joew on Oct 2, 2006 0:22:09 GMT -5
Well, slb, the Romans verse is good for starters.
There is a fine line to be walked, IMO, between judgmentalism, and upholding standards. When we see somebody behaving in a way that is clearly immoral, we are not called to regard the conduct as anything but immoral. Still, we do not know whether the person's conscience was rightly formed to recognize the immorality of the conduct, and so we don't know the state of the person's soul before God.
Today at Mass two of the assigned readings were James 5:1-6 and Mark 9:38-48. One clear message of these and other passages is that there is danger in riches: they can draw us away from the Kingdom of God, especially if we become so attached to them that we neglect the real needs of others.
So I don't think you are wrong to wonder how such a home fits in with preferring nothing to the Kingdom of God, especially if the focus is on whether it would be right for you to seek to have something like it. OTOH, I don't think it is necessarily wrong to have a large house with nice property around it, if it doesn't take someone away from concern for God's will for him or her. After all, it's a matter of degree. Most of us are rich by contrast with most of the people of the world. But we can own things rather than letting them own us. And when we own them, we can put them to good use.
Perhaps it would make sense to pray for your neighbor, without allowing yourself to be too sure about what having the house means for her relationship with the Lord.
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Post by slb2 on Oct 2, 2006 0:56:36 GMT -5
Nicely stated, joew. Thank you for your POV. After writing that all out, then fiddling with other stuff, then returning and re-reading it. I feel differently.  Mostly, I thought of two things. 1. Actually, I would not be distracted. But if I lived in that fancy house, well, the house would look pretty shoddy after I'd lived there for a couple months. Decorating bores me to tears. Honestly. I've no time for it. 2. I still worry about her children. She was raised Catholic and was raising her children Catholic, but they no longer attend Mass. I think her younger two children have been missing church for the past three years and that's too much for children so young. I think ya gotta go. When a kid is young, I really think that is the time to instill in them some spiritual education, whatever it is that you believe. Since I'm next-to their second mom, I guess I have a "right" to worry a little about their religous education.  The oldest one spends two or three nights a week living with us. I feed her, talk to her, coach her on homework, guide her when she's getting mixed messages from other young adults, take her shopping, to work, etc. |
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Post by liriodendron on Oct 2, 2006 8:39:30 GMT -5
I think that what we choose to own says a lot about our priorities in life. Some of these priorities are good, some are bad, some are simply different than mine. While I would certainly never begrudge anyone the right to choose what to do with their money, it sometimes becomes difficult to explain to one's children why others have something that we do not. Personally, I would rather not own a McMansion. There is far more square footage in one than I am willing to keep clean and presentable. Although I once made a similar comment to a friend and was informed that, in general, if I was wealthy enough to own one that I was probably also sufficiently wealthy to employ a cleaning lady. And while that might go a long way toward resolving my clutter problem, I just can't believe that a house so grand would ever feel like home. I am definitely not a fan of conspicuous consumption. I am even less a fan of debt. I guess those depression-era parents get credit for that, as well. Far too many people today get in way over their heads in debt in their quest to have the upscale home, the fancy cars, the luxurious vacations. Again, I have no problem with folks enjoying the benefits of their success, however, I have to wonder just what portion of those trappings are financed and what is owned free and clear. I know far too many people whose public appearance of success belies the fact that they are, in essence, living paycheck to paycheck, with little or nothing saved for a rainy day. Should either wage-earner become unemployed, they would be hard-pressed to buy groceries, never mind make their outlandish mortgage payment. I simply could not live this way. The stress would be unbearable. As for your neighbor, slb, perhaps she is planning ahead for when those children all move out of the house and she is able to finally realize her dream of opening a Bed & Breakfast. |
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Post by slb2 on May 11, 2007 0:34:38 GMT -5
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Post by gailkate on May 11, 2007 23:08:41 GMT -5
Uff da. "Oil Filters" blew my gaskets.
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Post by doctork on May 12, 2007 0:26:20 GMT -5
Chris Jordan will have an exhibit in Oslo at the Nobel Peace Center while we are there for the cruise. I'll add it to my "Must-do" list. In the Wake of Katrina struck home - I worked in Port Sulphur, LA last year, and actually saw the "Steps to Nowhere" house in nearby Buras. On a more positive note, here in Bellingham, we have a new company "1-800- GotJunk," which is actually a nationally franchised firm which will pick up and haul away your junk. They successfully recycle 94% of what they pick up. Check them out when you are disposing of your excess possessions. Started by an entrepreneurial college student in Vancouver, BC, he wanted to provide the link between people who want to exchange junk for space, and those entities that recycle used possessions. Voila! With $700 and a used pick-up, he crafted a way to eliminate many of the wastelands depicted in Jordan's photos. |
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Post by Seattle Taz on May 12, 2007 23:42:31 GMT -5
Uf da, y'all. Some truths I don't *like* being brought home to me.
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Post by Trusty on May 13, 2007 18:30:10 GMT -5
Imagine No Possessions ... In the Dallas/Fort Worth area, most houses are "ranch" style with no basements, and that's not just for style, either. In that part of Texas, the earth is constantly slowly shifting, so you will get a cracked foundation if you don't keep it watered. (You have to live there to fully understand it.) That rules out basements for most houses in the area. Also, the lack of storage space results in LOTS of garage sales. It's a second occupation for many Texans. Well, when we lived there, we went to a really cool church that usually had Sunday School classes on Sunday Night. But, one night was different; they canceled the classes, and had what was called "Needs Night". The pastors figured that we could all supply each other's needs - if we knew about them. One person stood up and said, "We have an extra refrigerator in the garage." A young lady in the back popped up and said, "Oh my Lord! Ours just went out, and we don't have the money for a new one!" Need met. It happened that way all night. People got together after service and exchanged names & numbers, etc. We had a lot of fun, all needs were met and a lot of garages were cleaned out. If we only knew our neighbor's need, and if we only weren't too shy to voice ours, we could give people a chance to do good. BTW, other people had extra food to give; the lady's "new" refrigerator was stocked that night. (The more I typed, the more I thought I had shared this before. No matter; it's worth it.) |
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Post by slb2 on May 13, 2007 18:42:56 GMT -5
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Post by booklady on May 13, 2007 18:51:28 GMT -5
Trusty, that is a very cool story.  |
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Post by ptcaffey on May 14, 2007 1:18:07 GMT -5
"We have an extra refrigerator in the garage," a stranger offered.
A young lady responded: "Ours just went out, and we don't have the money for a new one!"
Then a young man spoke up: "My wife is a diabetic, and her insulin needs to be refrigerated."
"Bummer," said another lad, "but my buddies and I just lifted three cases of beer and we need a good place to ice it."
At this point, somebody--I'm not sure who--flashed a gun; a loud retort rang out. There was blood everywhere.
A young lady in the back popped up: "Hey, everybody! I have extra bandages!"
Need met.
And so it went all night.
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Post by slb2 on May 14, 2007 1:37:39 GMT -5
amend the above:
Pastor calls out, "No problem. The BloodMobile is still out in the parking lot after a successful drive."
Need met.
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Post by gailkate on May 14, 2007 10:28:22 GMT -5
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Post by Seattle Taz on May 14, 2007 22:04:16 GMT -5
(The more I typed, the more I thought I had shared this before. No matter; it's worth it.) Worth it is right, Trusty. What a lift! Thanks for posting. |
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Post by slb2 on Jun 11, 2007 23:50:18 GMT -5
I must confess a few things. After 18 years of being a one-car family, (we'll celebrate our 19th anniversary on June 18), we now own two cars. One is a mini-van for lugging the whole family. The new one is a 2001 Prius. The mileage is three times what we get on the Pontiac Montana. I guess I feel good about that, but a little bummed that we couldn't hold ourselves to one car. And Ace just bought a new computer. The rest of the family likes games. Me? I do, too. But only three games, all of them card games. A limping Dell with dust would suffice. Last purchase? An incredibly sexy (well, it is!) scarf for my neck. Ace said I'm now wearing the French look. I bought it at GoodWill for $1.69. I'm wearing it when I go to see Michael. Well, I might wear something besides the scarf, too. |
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Post by booklady on Apr 24, 2008 6:16:24 GMT -5
I would LOVE some advice on moving. Moving STUFF. Mostly books. I'm debating about taking a few pieces of furniture that are not in stellar condition. It may be better to leave them and buy what I need when I get there.
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Post by michael on Apr 24, 2008 7:08:07 GMT -5
No advice, Booky, just lyrics to sing while you're contemplating and doing. A song for BookyWhen I get there I'll be lookin For a piece of furniture, Or two Don't need much to get by on But a little love would be A comfort I could use All the rest I can do without I've got my future No lookin' back Yes, here I am, oh sweet Jesus And I'm happy to leave it At that Good luck! Mike |
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Post by booklady on Apr 24, 2008 8:06:45 GMT -5
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Post by doctork on Apr 24, 2008 10:47:48 GMT -5
Bookie, obviously something I'm thinking about too. A few thoughts:
I was speaking with someone about a possible move to North Carolina. she said "Sell all your furniture, and buy it new in North Carolina." Hickory, NC is the furniture capital of the universe, so much cheaper than everywhere else, that her advice was probably valid. And MS/TN are not far from NC, so even shipping new furniture a little ways isn't bad, less than shipping old things from MA.
A friend of mine claimed that when he moved, he packed hundreds of boxes, numbered sequentially. He threw out/gave away all the odd-numbered boxes, moved the even-numbered half, and never missed a thing.
I am very envious of my friend from high school who apologetically (!) says he can fit everything he owns into his VW (don't know if it was a microbus or bug).
When we moved from WV to WA we had 25,000 pounds of stuff and the move cost over $30,000! Thank goodness it was paid by my employer, but really...And we had a big yard sale, and took six vanloads of donations to ChristianHelp before we moved. However, we had three school age kids and also moved 3 cars and much of the contents of my mother's home as well - a big "household" to move.
Books were a real bugaboo in that move. We had over 200 book boxes, probably over 7,000 pounds. I am working/will work even harder to winnow more of those books before the next move.
Take photos of things you like before you give them away. Then make a scrapbook of the photos, which is much easier to move than the objects themselves.
Freecycle and 1-800-GOT-JUNK and the ReStore are your friends.
Keep us posted on your progress.
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Post by slb2 on Apr 24, 2008 11:00:40 GMT -5
How did I miss it? Books, I know you've been planning to move, but where's the destination?
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Post by booklady on Apr 24, 2008 12:54:58 GMT -5
I love this idea, doc! I've been speaking and emailing with movers all morning. I think I've learned a bit. For one thing, paying movers is not as costly as I thought it would be. I've spent much of this week (school vacation) going through things and beginning the weeding-out process. I tackled the icky job of cleaning out an attic/crawl space area and taking a bunch of junk to the dump. I'm going to have to get rid of some old books. I do like the idea of getting a few pieces of new furniture when I get there. Where, slb? The final destination is going to be the Jackson, MS area. I did really like it there, and I also think enough people are moving there that it's a good property investment and chances are good for me to land a teaching job (don't have one yet, though). I'll be moving around the 20th of June.  |
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Post by gailkate on Apr 24, 2008 17:42:14 GMT -5
 I love your optimism! No guts, no glory as Jerry says with annoying regularity. In this case, you are one gutsy lady and I'm impressed. About giving things away. If you have time, look up comparables on Ebay and value everything for your taxes this year. If you don't have time, just figure a flat amount (books -$2 for good pb, $4 for trade pb, $6-10 for hardbacks, etc.) There is no reason not to take advantage of this very fair tax deduction, given the amount of your taxes our government wastes. Take pics of stuff you donate - labels if they are good clothes. You may write me for endless advice on this; I consider myself an expert. Ebay and consignment shops and used book stores are the new guide for value - NOT garage sales. Are you all aware of Books for Africa? www.booksforafrica.org/It's located in St. Paul, but you can ship 50 lbs. for ~$20 media rate. The books and shipping are tax deductible. They'll send you a letter acknowledging the gift, but you have to decide the value. This is a wonderful organization. They love getting whole lots of schoolbooks, but they want things for all ages. I've taken anything that someone would learn from, especially history, geography, natural sciences, but some classic fiction, too. The need is enormous. Also, I think there are organizations for books/CDs/videos and DVDs to go to our soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. VCR videos may not be wanted anymore, but I would think bases still have VCRs. I'm not good at giving stuff up. I'd take as much as you can afford to, because you're not going to be flush with money for buying new, right? Besides, I like getting comfortable fast and then deciding how I want to change the trappings of my life. And take anything you're going to want immediately with you in your car. Coffee and coffeemaker! TP! Bread and jam and PB! Now that I think about it, perhaps we Chatterers should start a list of necessities for Bl to take in her car - kind of like the parent's guide for campers. |
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Dopey Member
Mostly, I thought of two things.
The oldest one spends two or three nights a week living with us. I feed her, talk to her, coach her on homework, guide her when she's getting mixed messages from other young adults, take her shopping, to work, etc.
Thank you. 