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Post by booklady on Jun 19, 2021 15:59:19 GMT -5
My grandson was diagnosed seven months ago with ASD, ADHD, and a number of other issues that are difficult to manage at home and at school. His parents are divorced and disagree about what his treatment should entail. It's very difficult and stressful, that's about all I can say about it.
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Post by doctork on Jun 19, 2021 17:01:01 GMT -5
I am so sorry about your grandson's conditions. Difficult and costly medical problems can destroy people and families. For many there is no effective treatment, and nowhere near enough help and funding. Only the very very wealthy can afford the expensive residential care that may be necessary. The federal government will not pay for any abortion (Hyde Amendment, early 1980's) unless the pregnancy is the result of rape or incest, or the life of the mother is endangered. "Endangered" has been interpreted in at least one federal jurisdiction as at least 51% or greater likelihood that the mother will die as a result of the pregnancy. AFAIK, no abortions are performed at any military hospital or VA hospital - if they fit the covered circumstances, they may be referred out to a private facility, though I have never seen that happen in >40 years in medicine. The 51% index case I referred to was a married woman with two healthy kids, but she had congenital heart disease and pregnancy was deemed too risky (it was amazing she had survived the prior pregnancies) so she had a tubal ligation. When that failed and she became pregnant (with a much-wanted child, but she/husband/doctor all agreed not worth risking her life), her insurer refused to cover the cost of pregnancy termination because the government-employed cardiologist determined that her risk of death due to the pregnancy was "only 40%." This was a test case brought by pro-choice organizations to see just how serious the pro-life forces were. Very serious - only 4 chances in 10 mom would die, no problem, no abortion. Mom survived because the pro-choice forces privately funded her out-of-state abortion, done out of state because by the time the legal remedies were exhausted, she was into the second trimester of pregnancy and needed more specialized care than was available in her state.
In the US no woman can be legally forced to have an abortion against her will, though she can be compelled to continue a lethal pregnancy.
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Post by jspnrvr on Jun 19, 2021 17:07:01 GMT -5
My grandson was diagnosed seven months ago with ASD, ADHD, and a number of other issues that are difficult to manage at home and at school. His parents are divorced and disagree about what his treatment should entail. It's very difficult and stressful, that's about all I can say about it. Well, I guess that about says it all
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Post by slb2 on Jun 19, 2021 19:20:35 GMT -5
While I am polyanna-ish about many topics, I'm pretty clear-eyed about reasons why/to/when pregnancies are terminated. I hear you, Kristin, and believe what you say about the real issues and difficulties around babies/people with dis-abled bodies. I believe raising a child who has a dis-ability is more do-able than people fear and they possibly make decisions based on fear.
My brother and I also were born with physical abnormalities so I'm a little sensitive to the issue.
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Post by Jane on Jun 20, 2021 18:04:41 GMT -5
Booklady: My grandson has ADHD and dyslexia. It is tough. His parents and three siblings are all over-achievers. Tom (19) is drifting. Quit his job, moved back home, has developed a strange philosophy which says capitalism is a corrupt system, work is a trap, voting is foolish, plans are for the indoctrinated. He has rid himself of everything and sleeps on the floor. It's rough. I can't imagine better parents than his, but they are completely befuddled about what to do. He has a lovely girlfriend, which is giving them hope, but she works hard, and they are afraid she will get fed up with him soon. Sadly, he scored the highest of any of the four children, including the one who just graduated from University of Michigan with honors.
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Post by Jane on Jun 20, 2021 18:06:48 GMT -5
I am strongly pro-choice. When I had children, all the tests and such were not available, and, luckily, my daughters have no issues. (Well, Annie has raging ADD, but she's cute, so.....) I would not have been a good parent to a child with Down Syndrome, but I supposeone does what one must.
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Post by doctork on Jun 20, 2021 21:02:50 GMT -5
There is a wide variety among those with Down Syndrome (and many other anomalies) - some are healthy other than developmental delay, while others have multiple other abnormalities and conditions. All pregnancies carry risk to mothers, particularly those who are women of color.
A woman should decide for herself if she will be subjected to the risks of pregnancy, and the burden that could be imposed by the care of a child.
Back in "the old days" when no antenatal testing was available, it was also the case than many babies/children with Down Syndrome and similar conditions were routinely "sent away to a home." Such facilities were available, so if a family was unable to care for the child they did not have to; absent today's medical care, such people did not usually live long anyway.
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Post by slb2 on Jun 21, 2021 3:34:37 GMT -5
Booklady: My grandson has ADHD and dyslexia. It is tough. His parents and three siblings are all over-achievers. Tom (19) is drifting. Quit his job, moved back home, has developed a strange philosophy which says capitalism is a corrupt system, work is a trap, voting is foolish, plans are for the indoctrinated. He has rid himself of everything and sleeps on the floor. It's rough. I can't imagine better parents than his, but they are completely befuddled about what to do. He has a lovely girlfriend, which is giving them hope, but she works hard, and they are afraid she will get fed up with him soon. Sadly, he scored the highest of any of the four children, including the one who just graduated from University of Michigan with honors. He's 19? Michigan or wherever he lives should have services for him. Minnesota offers services for my son and he's 21. Stuff like counseling, job placement, skill-building, etc. Of course, that's based on your brief description of his situation and he possibly has myriad other issues. Sorry for the troubles and obstacles he's faced/facing; there is light shining and I hope he can find it with guidance from his parents.
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Post by Jane on Jun 21, 2021 8:15:12 GMT -5
His high school gave him no help. They insisted he take a foreign language even though kids with dyslexia are barely literate in English. He went to a technical school and learned robotics and got a good job out of high school, but he quit after less than a year. His mom has a MPH in epidemiology, and his dad is a doctor, so a lot was expected of him, and I think he has just given up. He seems happy enough in his retirement. He plays a lot of chess and tennis and trains at a boxing gym, but none of these pursuits bring in any money (he doesn't believe in money.)
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Post by gailkate on Jun 21, 2021 10:26:09 GMT -5
Oh, Jane, that's so distressing. His parents love him to pieces but might be thinking that they do believe in money and don't intend to support his retirement. Could he train to coach? I have a friend whose ~ 40yo son supports himself coaching some sport I can't remember - soccer, I think. He may freelance at schools, organizes local leagues and competitions, I'm vague about how he pulls this off. Or could Tom learn some kind of trade? There's nothing terrible about not being cut out for an academic education and white-collar job. He might go to work for a builder and take odds and ends of classes at a CC.
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Post by doctork on Jun 21, 2021 14:40:35 GMT -5
His high school gave him no help. They insisted he take a foreign language even though kids with dyslexia are barely literate in English. He went to a technical school and learned robotics and got a good job out of high school, but he quit after less than a year. His mom has a MPH in epidemiology, and his dad is a doctor, so a lot was expected of him, and I think he has just given up. He seems happy enough in his retirement. He plays a lot of chess and tennis and trains at a boxing gym, but none of these pursuits bring in any money (he doesn't believe in money.) Sometimes the states set some ridiculous rigid standards about high school graduation requirements. One or two years of foreign language in high school is too little too late to be meaningful anyway, but "the state says..." I dropped out of high school and ran away to Europe (where I quickly became fluent in German and French) half-way through my senior year with more than enough academic credits to graduate and meet college entrance requirements. BUT - the state required 4 years of gym, and I had only 3.5 - no diploma, no graduation.
I still did OK, but sometimes there are stupid "rules for when brains run out."
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Post by slb2 on Jun 21, 2021 21:36:39 GMT -5
His high school gave him no help. They insisted he take a foreign language even though kids with dyslexia are barely literate in English. He went to a technical school and learned robotics and got a good job out of high school, but he quit after less than a year. His mom has a MPH in epidemiology, and his dad is a doctor, so a lot was expected of him, and I think he has just given up. He seems happy enough in his retirement. He plays a lot of chess and tennis and trains at a boxing gym, but none of these pursuits bring in any money (he doesn't believe in money.) That's pretty awful about the lack of school support. Carl still has an IEP that he can use for college if he chooses. He doesn't have a HS diploma, but is teaching himself how to write gaming programs and just bought a second computer that's allows him to do more programming. Your grandson is so young and his brain still has many years to develop. Some life experience and a few bumps might be what he needs. :/
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Post by doctork on Jun 24, 2021 21:19:08 GMT -5
Have you seen the reports about the 12 story beachfront condo collapse in the Miami area? Horrifying. And in the middle of the night when most people who were living there were probably home in bed.
There was no tidal wave, no earthquake. How can this happen? I thought there were fairly stringent building codes here in the US of A. specifically to prevent this sort of thing.
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Post by slb2 on Jun 25, 2021 1:28:38 GMT -5
Tonight, on PBS News Hour, the mayor of Miami or whatever town specifically that collapsed condo is in talked briefly about getting to the bottom of what caused the building to pancake as it did "similar to 2001." But then he refocused on rescue efforts and putting 100% of their energy into rescue.
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Post by booklady on Jun 25, 2021 11:58:48 GMT -5
Some reports were that the building has been sinking at the rate of several millimeters a year since some time in the 1990s.
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Post by doctork on Jun 25, 2021 12:57:19 GMT -5
An engineer who had inspected the building in the 1990's was interviewed on CNN and he reported subsidence of 2 mm per year for several years during the 90's, but apparently that was not remarkable or dangerous - in itself, and ad that time.
I remember when we lived in WV we had to have a special "subsidence rider" on our homeowner's insurance. There have been so many old mines dug all over WV over the years that nobody really knows where they all are - so you buy the insurance. I don't believe there are any old mines in Miami, but there are those sinkholes that seem to randomly appear. I guess the terra isn't that firma.
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Post by booklady on Sept 11, 2021 17:58:37 GMT -5
Beautiful and heart-rending.
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Post by BoatBabe on Sept 11, 2021 19:07:38 GMT -5
Wow. Not the "I'll See You In Dreams" I was expecting. Beautiful.
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Post by doctork on Sept 11, 2021 19:25:53 GMT -5
Today's date brings back so many painful memories.
I lived in NYC when the mayor had that ceremonial "first shovel" (1966) to begin building the World Trade Center, and I watched the buildings go up when I went back to the city for visits from college in upstate New York.
I visited the Twin Towers regularly in the mid 1990's through to summer 2001, usually staying at that Marriott (WTC7 IIRC) as my first insurance employer (1995 - 1999) had a big office a block over from WTC, and my next insurance employer (1999 on) had offices on nine floors at the top of the South Tower. 176 of my co-workers died that day, almost everyone who was at work, as only 6 employees managed to escape thanks to a couple of brave security guards who directed them to the single stairwell that remained unblocked.
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Post by Jane on Sept 11, 2021 20:17:08 GMT -5
I have avoided all the 911 stuff. I already think constantly about Covid, voter suppression, the abortion ban, gun violence, and (most of all) climate change. And now the brakes on my car are going out, and my washing machine died today. They do say, you know, that people who are depressed actually have a keener grasp of reality than "normal" people.
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Post by gailkate on Sept 11, 2021 22:50:25 GMT -5
I couldn't hear Springsteen's introduction. I'm assuming he wrote it, but can someone tell me what he said? A perfect song about loss and longing, which he sang perfectly.
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Post by booklady on Sept 12, 2021 6:57:59 GMT -5
www.msn.com/en-us/music/news/bruce-springsteen-remembers-911-with-emotional-e2-80-98i-e2-80-99ll-see-you-in-my-dreams-e2-80-99-performance-at-20th-anniversary-memorial-watch/ar-AAOkR9Y?ocidBruce Springsteen honored the victims of 9/11 with an emotional acoustic performance of his song “I’ll See You in My Dreams” during a ceremony marking the 20th anniversary of the terrorist attacks. The legendary 71-year-old rocker’s unannounced appearance on Saturday (Sept. 11) followed a moment of silence at New York City’s World Trade Center memorial plaza. The event was attended by dignitaries and family members of people killed in the 2001 attacks, the Associated Press reports. “May God bless our fallen brothers and sisters, their families, their friends and their loved ones,” Springsteen said before performing. “This is ‘I’ll See You in My Dreams.’” After his performance, relatives of the 9/11 victims reportedly read out the names of those who died in the attacks, which has served as a tradition in Sept. 11 memorial services over the years. “I’ll See You in My Dreams” is the final track on Springsteen’s 20th studio album, Letter to You, which debuted at No. 2 on the Billboard 200 in November 2020. The set also topped Billboard’s Top Rock Albums chart. In a 2002 piece for Rolling Stone, Springsteen wrote about visiting New York City after the terror attacks and the sacrifices made by first-responders. “I took my kids to Ground Zero in July. I hadn’t gone before. We just walked out onto that public-viewing platform. What’s very moving down there are the photographs and memorials. All the smiling faces. Pictures of people with their families on a sunny afternoon in the yard. People in their uniforms. They’re a reminder of the life that’s gone. I found that sight to be deeply, deeply moving. Just the sense of sacrifice,” the musician said. “I think one of the things that shocked people was the size of the sacrifice made on that day. There’s nothing that I think could prepare people — I mean, whatever they’re paying you to be a fireman or a policeman, they’re not paying you that. And that goes to some central point about how people experience their duty, their place in the world, their connection to the people alongside themselves and to complete strangers. If you look at the past twenty years, people might say, ‘Oh, that’s disappeared from America.’ But if you look closely, it’s there every day.”
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Post by booklady on Sept 12, 2021 7:19:57 GMT -5
I'm not generally a Springsteen fan. One of the reasons this performance resonates with and moves me is because the mother and father of my daughter's late fiance, who died in a hiking fall in 2015 just a month before his 30th birthday and just as they were planning their wedding, are huge Springsteen fans. They are among my best friends now. We share many interests but at bottom we share the sudden, violent ripping from our lives of a family that will never be. I thought of them the whole time Bruce was singing, as they have kept so many of Chris' things and the lyrics echo so many of the feelings and agony his mother has expressed to me in making her way through the last six years.
The road is long and seeming without end The days go on, I remember you my friend And though you're gone and my heart's been emptied it seems I'll see you in my dreams
I got the old guitar here by the bed All your favorite records and all the books that you read And though my soul feels like it's been split at the seams I'll see you in my dreams
I'll see you in my dreams when all our summers have come to an end I'll see you in my dreams, we'll meet and live and laugh again I'll see you in my dreams, yeah around the river bend For death is not the еnd And I'll see you in my dreams
His parents are not believers, and I am an Orthodox Christian, but his mother (at least...not sure about his father, an MIT trained engineer) and I both still believe we will see Chris again, and that death is not the end. Thank you, Bruce. What a beautiful song of grief and yet hope.
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Post by booklady on Sept 12, 2021 7:45:24 GMT -5
The man speaking in the embedded video here was my favorite speaker yesterday. Thoughtful, thought-provoking in a log-in-the-eye kind of way, and inspiring. I can't figure out a way to post just the video of his speech, but it's embedded in the tweet and you can click on it to play. It's worth listening to. This is the brother of one of the heroes who took down Flight 93. Imagine if it had been flown into the Capitol. Edited to add, it did remind me of Private Ryan: [weakly mutters something after being mortally wounded] Private Ryan: [leans in closer] What, sir? Captain Miller: James, earn this... earn it.
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Post by slb2 on Sept 13, 2021 13:35:34 GMT -5
**crying**
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Post by doctork on Sept 13, 2021 19:35:28 GMT -5
I will watch that later as right now I cannot absorb any more 9/11 or Afghanistan; it feels so very personal to me.
Mr. Felt asks a very pertinent question: Are we worthy of their sacrifice?
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Post by gailkate on Sept 13, 2021 23:17:25 GMT -5
I've only watched some of the coverage. Personal or not, it's devastating. It's also very uncomfortable from the standpoint of our remarkably secure and protected lives. I remember seeing comments from people in the Middle East who said maybe we needed to have a taste of what they live with all the time. I was disgusted by their callousness, but I could see their point. And others have said that last winter we lost 3000 people a day to Covid but no one holds ceremonies to mourn their loss. And after the early tributes to first responders, especially in New York, people seemed to start taking them for granted.
I'm not so down on this country as to say "are we worthy of their sacrifice?" First, we can never be grateful enough for the extraordinary courage of those people on that day and during the dangerous, heartbreaking clean-up later. But, though he was moving, I was bothered by his making this memorial into his own moral lecture. I can't think of the right word, but he had a sort of preacher tone that made me wonder who he meant by "we' and how he sees himself in relation to his countrymen. What exactly is he pointing out as unworthy? It might have been a good guest article in the NYT or WaPo, but it didn't strike me the way it did BL. I know, I can be a nitpicker. But the hat and the tie looked as if he was setting himself up as a patriot telling the rest of us how unworthy we are. I'm not sure anyone is worthy of a firefighter dying in flames and unbreathable air to save him. But I don't think people were necessarily better 20 years ago.
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Post by slb2 on Sept 14, 2021 2:41:29 GMT -5
I remember seeing comments from people in the Middle East who said maybe we needed to have a taste of what they live with all the time. I was disgusted by their callousness, but I could see their point. And others have said that last winter we lost 3000 people a day to Covid but no one holds ceremonies to mourn their loss. Callous or not, that sentiment is exactly how I felt and thought immediately after the towers crashed and the country began to cry out "Look at our horror." I thought, what of it? This sort of horror is what so many others in the world have lived with for years. My attitude was analogous to All Lives Matter when BLM would be front and center. Wisely enough, I didn't voice my opinion about the September 11th tragedy, but I still think it. I also find the individual stories around 9-11 to be heartbreaking. The heroics of the first responders humble me and stun me. It's surreal how they climbed the towers to give aid to others even in the impending collapse and fires. So it's not the horror that I dismiss, but the self-righteousness of some who call out, Look at how mistreated we've been by ___________ (terrorists).
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Post by doctork on Sept 14, 2021 21:51:23 GMT -5
Though I haven't watched the YouTube recording, and thus can't address whether he had a preacher-like moral tone, I did not interpret asking the question "Are we worthy" as a stance of feeling "down on our country." Rather, it's appropriate to consider in the course of our daily lives, are we behaving (am I acting) in a way that is worthy of the sacrifices our fellow citizens make on our behalf. There are millions of Americans who seem to believe that members of the military are losers and suckers, and they likely feel similarly about anyone stupid enough to run into a dangerous burning building just to possibly save a few lives. Many of our "leaders" seem to care mostly about re-election with its attendant increase in power and money, much less about service to others, to our nation.
It used to be presumed we would be good citizens who understand our attendant civic responsibilities.
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Post by booklady on Sept 24, 2021 15:55:33 GMT -5
This is rich. www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/sjw-scientists-cancel-jedi-order/... the Jedi are inappropriate symbols for justice work. They are a religious order of intergalactic police-monks, prone to (white) saviorism and toxically masculine approaches to conflict resolution (violent duels with phallic lightsabers, gaslighting by means of “Jedi mind tricks,” etc.). The Jedi are also an exclusionary cult, membership to which is partly predicated on the possession of heightened psychic and physical abilities (or “Force-sensitivity”). Strikingly, Force-wielding talents are narratively explained in Star Wars not merely in spiritual terms but also in ableist and eugenic ones: These supernatural powers are naturalized as biological, hereditary attributes. So it is that Force potential is framed as a dynastic property of noble bloodlines (for example, the Skywalker dynasty), and Force disparities are rendered innate physical properties, measurable via “midi-chlorian” counts (not unlike a “Force genetics” test) and augmentable via human(oid) engineering. The heroic Jedi are thus emblems for a host of dangerously reactionary values and assumptions. Sending the message that justice work is akin to cosplay is bad enough; dressing up our initiatives in the symbolic garb of the Jedi is worse.Here's the original Scientific American ( Scientific American!!!) article: www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-the-term-jedi-is-problematic-for-describing-programs-that-promote-justice-equity-diversity-and-inclusion/I love this particular comment that follows the blog entry: RomanCandle • 19 hours ago And what's so bad about an object being "phallic" anyway? It's a very simple, efficient shape: that's why light sabres are shaped that way. That's why phalluses are shaped that way, for that matter.
Obviously I'm trolling a bit, but we don't talk enough about just how weird wokeism can be.This kind of descent into lunacy is what came to my mind when I heard Gordon Felt speak at the Flight 93 memorial.
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